What’s in your bathroom at work?

The only reason I ask is because mine at work is, er, unique.  Unique in that I’ve never seen so many things cramp the space next to the sinks.  There’s an air freshener, hand lotion, hand sanitizer, and a clock radio.  A clock radio that plays smooth jazz all day long.  It’s my least favorite kind of music, the kind of music that can put me to sleep at work while working.  I’m not exaggerating: I had a bookkeeping job during college and a radio set to smooth jazz next to me.  I couldn’t change the station because any other kind of music was deemed “distractive”, so I was stuck listening to that awful music during my entire shift.  This music would sometimes cause me to nod off in the midst of entering journal entries in the computer, something that requires a smidge of concentration at the very least.  Now it’s in my bathroom at work and it’s got me all confused: am I in an elevator or in the toilet? 

The thing about having the radio on while doing your business is that it gets you thinking about the most inane things.  Today, for example, a radio commercial came on talking about “secret ways to reduce debt.”  It got me wondering – what could that secret way possibly be?  What other way, besides lowering your credit card interest rate and/or paying down balances consistently, is the “secret way”?  Would that “secret” way happen to be bankruptcy?  Or perhaps changing your name to Jane Smith and moving to Nagoches, Texas?  

I’ve also found myself with a Sade song stuck to my head after leaving the bathroom, where it stays the WHOLE DAMN DAY.  Having a radio in the bathroom, especially one tuned to smooth jazz, is psychological warfare.  Just thinking about it makes me a little anxious and uncomfortable.  Maybe next time I’ll use the bathroom in the 9th floor.